Over the weekend we received 70 cm of snow.  I was remembering when I was little and we would put our snow pants on and sled down the hill in the backyard, build snow men and have snow ball fights.  Snow was fun.  Now it’s almost a reminder of what was.  I no longer have someone to help me shovel.  Someone who would share in a cup of hot chocolate with me.  Who would complain about how cold it is.  Or even share in the beauty of the snow on the trees.

Those everyday moments are what I miss.


All around me are reminders of Christmas–music, decorations and even countdowns on friend’s facebook pages.  I’m just not feeling it this year.  Christmas commercials make it out to be some Norman Rockwell painting where we all sit around the tree and everyone gets the present that they want.  What if the present that I really want can’t be bought?  One isn’t supposed to say that Christmas is hard or that I can’t wait for it to be over.  It’s 7 yrs since my twin died but the season doesn’t get easier.