2009

Buffalo Nickel
The prompt says to use the first coin that you find but I decided to pick the year myself. It’s my blog so I can!
2009 was a big year for me. The year started off with preparations for my brother’s wedding in the summer. In Jan my father had a follow up at cancer clinic and in Feb he found out that a tumor had grown back. He decided that he didn’t want to have the tumor removed and would just accept whatever time he had left. It’s a very difficult thing to actually discuss this with your family. It was a stressful time happily anticipating my brother’s wedding while watching my Dad get sicker everyday. By March his tumor had grown significantly and by the end of the month was admitted to hospital. All the while my brother and his fiance held out hope that Dad would beat it and be able to go to their wedding. Mom and I knew different. It’s a challenging thing looking after a parent but then having no support and actually having to fight with a sibling because their head is in the sand was almost more than I could handle.
My birthday is on Summer Solstice–June 21. I turned 35. Without my twin and not knowing whether my Dad would live long enough. My friend gave me a beautiful locket with a picture of me and my twin on one side and my family on the other. On the front it says “Always” and on the back “Together in my heart”. I wore it on the day of our birthday. Mom and I went to place flowers on the grave. I know you may think that’s weird but it’s my way of acknowledging that it’s still her day too. My Dad died 2 weeks later.
5 weeks later my brother got married. I don’t actually remember much about the wedding, it was all kind of a blur. I honestly couldn’t wait for the day to be over. It was a beautiful wedding and I had as good a time as I could but it was THEIR day, not mine. We have a family picture taken with my Mom, me, and the happy couple and all I can see is the 2 people that are missing.
When I look back on this time in my life I actually can’t believe I did all that. It was just one day at a time, one foot in front of the other but I DID IT.

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