Not what we planned

But No Cigar
Tell us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?
2009 was supposed to be a happy year for my family. My brother had gotten engaged in the summer, my Dad was gaining strength back after his cancer treatments…life was good. Then in Feb my Dad had a follow-up appointment with his Dr and found out that the cancer had come back. He had developed a tumour near his kidney. He decided not to have it removed and just to enjoy the time he had left. How to tell 2 people that are so happy the worst news possible. My Dad was told he would have 2 years to live but it didn’t work out that way. The tumour was very aggressive and he didn’t live to see his son get married.
Because my brother was busy planning a wedding I was the one who cared for our father. It was very difficult to see the strongest person I know not have the strength to get out of bed on his own. Every day was a blessing. Do I wish things were different…YES. But it brought us closer. Dad wasn’t demonstrative. I never heard him say he loved me. When he was in the hospital I said it to him. He would give me a hug when I left and kiss my cheek or hand. For a long time it hurt knowing Janet would never get that but a twin friend of mine that is also a counsellor said that I have to let it go or it would eat at me. It’s not my load to carry.
When someone we love dies we have to do what is best for ourselves even if that means making tough choices. Distancing ourselves from people that don’t have our best interests at heart.

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