I Walk the Line
Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?
Growing up I learned how to treat others by the example that my grandparents, parents and other family members treated people. Growing up in a family that went to church I think gave me a good foundation. When I was young I saw things more in black and white, if I treated someone well they would respond in kind. I learned that wasn’t always the case. I got treated as a doormat and by my 20s I learned how to say NO.
When Janet died it gave me the freedom to say no. One of the facilitators called it SELF CARE. For the first time in my life I put my needs ahead of someone elses. It was hard because it went against my nature. I’m a nuturer, I want to take care of everyone. I eventually had to learn that taking care of myself was not selfish. That the only way I would have the energy to take care of someone else was to take care of myself first. I will go and get a manicure for a little “ME” time. At first I thought it was so extravagent but I had to realize it’s alright to spend money on myself…have a little fun.
I have lost some friends because I don’t do drama anymore. I value honesty and respect. That means being honest with me but also with yourself. BUT it also means to do it with love and not judgement.