Forgive and Forget

Forgive and Forget?
Share a story where it was very difficult for you to forgive the perpetrator for wronging you, but you did it — you forgave them.
“Forgive them for they know not what they do”
I’ve had a couple of church ladies say this to me. To me it’s a cop out. It lets the other person get away with saying something just because they don’t know what they said. I know it may not be very Christian of me but there it is.
I have a hard time with forgiveness. I’ve read stories about people that forgive someone who killed their loved one. Could I do that–NEVER. I still carry guilt over the feeling that i should have stopped her from participating.
Could I forgive the person who bullied me after Janet died? The person who basically thought I couldn’t look after my Dad because I’m a girl. The person who didn’t go to his interment because he had something else to do. Maybe, but I would never forget.
My brother and I fought alot when my Dad had cancer. I needed his help and he couldn’t give it to me. We both said things that we can’t take back. Eventually we let it go so that we could have a relationship but I could never trust him again. Eventually all the things just built up and I don’t have a relationship with him at all.
Forgiveness really is a two way street. Both parties have to be willing to work at it. You know the saying “love never means having to say your sorry”…well it’s not true. And it doesn’t mean just saying the word. It’s means understanding what YOU did wrong and being willing to fix it. Respecting someone enough to understand that they were hurt by what you said.
Trust is huge and once it’s broken it’s very difficult to get it back.

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3 thoughts on “Forgive and Forget

  1. You made a very good point here. It’s hard, if not impossible to forgive someone that hurt you so bad. The way I do it is that I offer everyone my trust and my respect (except for some obvious situations) until I see that they don’t deserve it anymore and then I turn away from them and never look back. I learned this from my history teacher. It taught me a lot about people and it hardened me.

  2. I think you nailed it. Being around people who apologize for upsetting you and repeating the act are difficult to deal with. They are just words. I would rather someone be mad and tell me rather than “zing” me and then give the automatic “sorry” when called out. Forgiving and forgetting this over and over is hard.

  3. Pingback: Actions speak louder. Cliche but so true! | The Hempstead Man

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