After Janet died I think I could’ve written a book on all of the stupid things people said to me.
“She’s in a better place”. Heaven is a wonderful place but it wasn’t a comfort to me when I wanted her here with me.
“You are living for 2”.
“How are you or Are you ok”. I know people mean well but at the funeral for my twin and father do you THINK I’m ok??!! Grief is hard and it takes a long time to be ok.
“Was it worth it?” I was asked this after I came back from my twinless twins conference in Toronto. I hadn’t fully processed yet whether it was but it’s a really dumb question.
I was told by a counsellor that I was stuck about 8 months after my Dad died. He had no concept of twin loss and needless to say I never went back.
When I was taking care of my Dad my brother told my Mom “what’s the big deal it’s not like Jennifer has anything else to do”. It was a good thing he didn’t say that in my presence!!
People are shocked when I tell them I have taken writing classes. People see me as a quiet person but they don’t know I’ve written my thoughts down for almost 9 yrs. That I have learned a lot (I hope) in those years.
Choosing to honour Janet by writing is not dwelling on my loss but a way for her to live on through my words.