Me,Myself and I

I Am a Rock
Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?
When Janet died I asked for help and I had lots of friends that were there for me. When Dad had cancer I had to do almost everything myself and it was exhausting. Now, it’s just me. I find I have a hard time asking for help anymore because people are busy or it’s out of their comfort zone so it’s easier just to do it myself. I think it comes from the fact that I always had someone to depend on who would help me, who I never had to ask for help. Oh sure, there are days when I wish I had help but I don’t.
I’ve learned that I can manage on my own. My Aunt asked me this morning “isn’t it quiet there alone?”. No, it really isn’t. Most of the time I’m so busy during the day that I veg at night and watch a movie or mindless television. I journal or write. There is always something to do.
I’ve learned how to be independent…not by choice, life kind of threw it at me. A woman at my writing class asked what my plans were for the summer. Oh to have the luxury to make plans for the summer. Today it is 10 days until my birthday. Beyond that is a blank slate.

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