Festivus for the Rest of Us
Tomorrow is Father’s Day but it is also our birthday (mine and Janet’s) so I’m going to do my tribute to Dad a day early.
From an early age Dad taught me the value of money. We got an allowance and if we wanted something we had to save up to purchase it. I do remember Mom buying us some little thing at the store for a treat once in awhile. I remember wanting a new camera and I researched which brand to buy and I looked through the flyers. I remember it cost $175 which was a lot of money for a teenager. I pulled out my Christmas card envelope and the cashier said ” been saving up have we?”
I learned to take pride in the place that you live. My Dad loved to garden and wanted his house to look nice. We didn’t have all the latest things but we had everything that we needed.
I learned that family came first. For Dad he would have done anything for us and you do not mess with his family. But at the same time he had high expectations of us. I think Janet and I always felt that we could never measure up. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a kid. I learned after Janet died that Dad was proud of us he just didn’t show it in the same way that he did with our brother.
I learned by watching him how to stand up for myself and yes sometimes that meant to him too. He was controlling. I learned when to do it “his way” or when it was alright to say ” I know you don’t agree but I need to do this my way.” Our house was not very private. If we left anything on the end table someone was going to pick it up even if it was addressed to me. I had to hide everything.
I can cut the grass, including filling the mower and turning it on. Dad taught me how to fertilize the lawn and trim hedges. Janet loved cutting the grass and would have gladly did the whole thing (which takes over an hour). I learned the types of flowers, ph level etc.
I learned there is strength in vulnerability. My Dad always did things for himself and when he had cancer he couldn’t. I had to puree his food which is really gross but if it kept it with us I would do it. Caregiving is a hard job but it’s my way of showing my love for them.
The above picture was taken at Easter at a relative’s house. I think we were going on 5. I love how Dad matched his tie with his pants and our dresses almost match the colours in his tie too. Janet is on the left and I’m in the middle.
I miss them!!