Sometimes a kindness can’t be paid back

Pay It Forward
Growing up I was always taught that if someone did something nice for you then you should reciprocate. But in life I’ve also realized that it’s not always possible. True friends don’t keep a score card they just do it out of the goodness of their heart.

When my Mom died my friend CB got in the car the second I gave her the word. She didn’t want to feel like she was intruding but also didn’t want me to be alone. I can never repay that kindness. Knowing I wasn’t alone. Knowing someone hurt for me. We have gone out for dinner and I usually pay because she does have to pay for gas to come here.

When I went to Vancouver my friend was my tour guide. She was so understanding in knowing when I needed time alone to remember Janet. I bought her flowers at a shop near where she lived but it was a gesture because I can never truly repay her kindness and generosity. For Christmas the card is the gift because she draws a picture of me and Janet but she’ll often put a little something in it. She’s sweet that way.

I have also learned that I have to be kind to myself. As a wise friend once told me “you are beautiful and worth it!”

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