A life that is my own

Six of One, Half a Dozen of the Other
What does the future hold for me? Well I was going to title this prompt “A life free from toxic people”.
Right now it’s just one day at a time. That’s all I can manage. I’ve started seeing Christmas commercials so pretty soon I will have to figure out what I am going to do for the day. I’m thinking of renting a room down the street so I’m not in the house. They are already advertising for Christmas dinner as well. Mom and I always dressed up for Christmas even at home because it was a special day.
My future is put on hold until I have a place to live. I am on the waiting list for the apartment building I want to go to. It has a lot of activities and a good community atmosphere which will be good for me. Honestly there is a part of me that can’t believe that someday I will only be responsible for myself. That I will no longer have to do yardwork or take out garbage. It hasn’t really sunk in yet because I’ve looked after other people for so long.
When I signed up for the writing class this fall I thought I would have more time to write but it didn’t happen. I didn’t realize how much work is involved in an estate. How much paperwork. And that’s something to look forward to in my new place. Time to write.
This summer I will be going to the Twinless Twins conference in Detroit. A weekend for ME. Lots and lots of hugs. I come away feeling so loved. Right now that is something to hold on to.
When one is grieving we can’t see that far ahead. We never imagined a future without our loved one and yet somehow we have to go on to create our own life without them. It’s hard.


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