Believing in Myself

Reason to Believe
When Mom was in and out of the hospital last year I would phone a friend of hers from church and at the end of the conversation she would tell me how proud she was of me and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That is what I had to hold on to…that things would get better.
When I lost my twin I knew that I had to rely on myself. I had support from my parents but I knew that for the first time in my life I couldn’t rely on them to help me. It was when I started journalling because I hid my emotions from them. I didn’t want them to worry and after a while I could tell they expected me to be “better” not realizing I would never be whole again.
What do I believe in? The power of friendship. People told me I was an inspiration. I have friends that tell me I’m amazing. I’m ok with the word strong or courageous. I love hearing that my friends are proud of me.
A friend of mine is turning 40 in March and is going to do someone special. I get to see another friend at Christmas. They give me hope because it’s something to look forward to. That’s the magic of friendship. That someone loves me unconditionally.
I believe that my family is still with me. There love lives on in me because I carry them with me in my heart. I believe that I will see them again some day.

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