I have learned

Learning
Phase
1. Being a twin meant we stood out. I learned that it changed at different points in our lives. We were cute, in high school we were “freaks” and as adults people were just intrigued.
2. Growing up I learned the value of money. I learned about investing from my Dad although I have a very basic knowledge of mutual funds.
3. My Dad taught us how to run a lawn mower, hedge trimmer and things that most people consider “men’s jobs”. I learned to take pride in the fact that I could do these things.
4. When my Dad had cancer I learned how to fight for him but also for myself. I also learned that life isn’t fair. That as much as we all prayed we didn’t get the answer we wanted.
5. Even though I have no nursing background I learned how to care for my parents.
6. grief is supposed to be over in 6 months. My twin died in September and by January I had friends telling me that a new year meant a fresh start.
7. Grief is isolating.
8. I am stronger than I ever realized. I have also come to accept compliments. People tell me how proud they are of me.
9. I have learned how to become idependent. This also means doing what is best for me.
10. As I am decorating my apartment I am learning what MY tastes are…at the same time it’s still going to be full of things that have meaning to me. Family pictures and mementos.
11. Writing this blog I have learned that this is something that I’m good at.
12. Love exists in many forms.

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6 thoughts on “I have learned

  1. You have a matter-of-fact style that is refreshing. I reflect on grief almost daily, a reminder here, a memento there. Only people who have not been touched by it will think grief ever really leaves you.

  2. First, I am so sorry for your loss. We had twins and lost one at young adulthood; grief is grief, and everyone’s is their own. You have created a lovely intimate reflection here. I particularly love, from a writerly perspective, how you have woven the twinness of your experience(s) through the examples. Thank you for this very moving offering.

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