Transformation Daily Prompt

Growing up I didn’t like change and truthfully there was very little change in my life even when my Mom had her kidney transplant when I was almost 14. As I wrote in the eulogy she just went on being Mom.
There were times in my life when i thought there would be more of a feeling that something big happened. When I got confirmed I thought ok we are members that suddenly things would change. That we would be seen as adults. That NEVER happened. Turning 18 was a big deal because legally I was seen as an adult. I don’t think I really felt like an adult until I graduated high school. Although I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I started in Early Childhood Education in college but found it wasn’t for me so I changed to office administration.
Life changed when Janet died. I remember writing in my journal that I didn’t want to change. I wanted to be the same person that my sister knew but that’s impossible.
Our family dynamics changed. There was a missing piece of the puzzle. For a while we sort of tip toed around each other.
The person I was then never would have had a blog. That person was afraid to share her feelings. She wanted to take care of everyone else. My writing teacher says I have grown a lot. Not everyone grows from grief. I have allowed myself to go through the emotions.
I have been transformed through this journey.
P.S. They are testing Fire alarm in my building this morning and it’s really hard to concentrate with a loud beeping in my ear!


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