This morning I started a post on rebuilding but a paragraph in I got stuck. Half an hour later I got an email from my brother that we are to meet with the lawyer to sign papers for the house on the 22nd a day after my birthday. All I could think was could this get any worse. I was hoping to sign this week so it would be over before my birthday.
I feel angry that he has left me to clean out the house. That he wouldnt think to do it as soon as possible. That I’ve had to give up so much and I can’t even be allowed to feel the emotions that I’m going to feel (that I already feel) because I have to hold it together so I can sign the paperwork.
And I know Mom and Janet are up in heaven telling me that I need to do something for ME. But at this point i dont even know what that would be. I have wonderful friends who will post on my wall or send me an email for my birthday but it’s not the same as physically being here. They can’t replace the person that I share my day with.