Trusting in myself

Trust
Trust. 5 little letters for such a HUGE word.
As I’ve written before I don’t trust very easily anymore. With good reason because I have had many people let me down. People that should be trust worthy. My family, the people who had my back always, are gone.
I have an amazing support group of friends. What makes them great is that they trust I can do it on my own but will always be there to support me. Dynamics change in any relationship but once trust is gone it’s really hard to get it back. For me it’s about trusting my gut. If something doesn’t feel right accept that there is a reason.
When my twin died I was alone. Yes I had my parents but she was the person I could rely on always. Now I had to trust in myself. I had to trust my own decisions because I had no one to bounce things off of. When I was looking after my Dad I had to trust in my own abilities same with my Mom. Finding an apartment that I liked was a challenge. But I knew it was a feeling, when I found it I would know. But I also know that Mom guided me here. That’s trust too. Knowing that they are always with me.