This morning I had groceries delivered. It was so bad I had to have a peanut butter and banana sandwich for breakfast. My grocery guy called it an Elvis special. Ha. I got him to get me wrapping paper. I know I could probably get it cheaper some place else but it’s only one roll.
They also had a plaid gift basket in the flyer that I thought I could use as a gift basket for a friend as I’m leaning towards spa products and a candle. But they didn’t have any. I told him what it was for and he said he would be on the lookout. I also mentioned that I may have him stop at M&M for Nanaimo bars closer to Christmas. He told me they already have them out. He said he has to tell himself walk away! I was telling him that my job was to cut them and if there were broken ones well those went to me. I love a guy who says “yeah the broken ones have no calories”. Christmas is the one day of the year where diet goes out the window.
Our freezer would be full of cookies and squares. Nanaimos are my brothers favourite. My grandpa liked chocolate macaroons, or hay stacks. My Moms favourite were hermits and mine are buttertart bars. And we would have them all.
Last year all I could think about was the fact that I would never have that again. I couldn’t see that I had many wonderful happy memories with my family because I was so full of sadness. Even going to my friend’s house was a reminder of what I had.
This year I can see the joy. I don’t know why that is because the second year is harder. The numbness wears off. I don’t cry at the Christmas commercials.
I think it’s because I’m choosing to be thankful for everything that I have. Beautiful memories and beautiful friends to share the holiday season with.