This past year I have been “building” a life for myself. I had a foundation to build on from learning how to deal with grief but it really did feel like starting over. I had the solid foundation of two parents who taught me what it means to live within your means. They provided for me so that I could build a life for myself.
In the same theme I had to construct a family for myself. Friends that I have known for years have become my family. Friends are the family you choose for yourself and I chose well. At the same time it means building a wall with some people.
The other day I had an appointment to meet with an accountant who asked me to describe myself. The weird thing was I didn’t know what to say. Because it would be different depending on the setting. Of course I thought about it after and realized I’m still learning who I am on my own. I’m no longer a caregiver. I’m a twin but that gets complicated to explain to someone else.
At the same time loss is part of my story. I’m stronger because of it.
Christmas is coming very soon. I still have many of the same traditions. A tree, presents, going to see the lights. Certain movies that I have to watch. I don’t think I’m going to send out cards this year. I don’t bake anymore.
Construction is about using tools we are given. I hope I am.