When I think of the word path I think of my parents who have guided me. That’s their job to guide me in life, to teach me right from wrong. Many of my poems talk about a journey, or how I can feel them walking beside me.
This picture was taken 21 years ago at a cousins wedding. The last picture with all five of us in it.
After Janet died I used the path analogy a lot because it was like walking along a dark path and there was only enough light to see in front of me. I looked after my Dad who had colon cancer. I knew nothing about what to do but I looked up stuff online and I did the best I could. Cancer is a terrible disease but it brought us closer. It was the first time in my life I knew he was proud of me. My Dad was not demonstrative but I would hold his hand in the hospital. One day I told him I loved him and he said I love you too.
I am on the path I am now because they are no longer with me physically. This year I had to move out of the only home I ever known and make a new life for myself. This post could also be put with Discover because I learned a lot about myself along the way. I discovered who would walk with me and who I needed to leave behind on the path. It’s never an easy decision. I also discovered that it’s not always the people that you think that will walk with you.
I was thinking about this word a lot today. How I carry stuff with me along the path. I wish I saw myself the way my friend sees me. She sees this strong, amazing person. When she posted a collage of our pictures from Tuesday she wrote my beautiful friend. She sees the person inside. I still struggle with words like brave, inspiration, amazing etc. Girls weren’t taught to blow their own horn.
The year is drawing to a close. When I think about this year it was hard but there were so many good moments spent with some pretty amazing people.