Last night I was talking to a friend of my Mom. In the course of conversation she asks if I “still” miss her. When Mom and I went to a bereavement support group after Janet died we learned that there were words that we needed to omit from our vocabulary. Still, should, stuck. Because using the word still usually refers to being at a point where there isn’t any progress. As in I’m still here, or I should feel this way. Everyone’s journey is different and we all do it at our own pace.
Honestly I don’t know how anyone could ask that of someone whose mother died less than 2 years ago. I miss them everyday. It’s not the same as the pain lessons. I lived with them how can I not miss them. Do I still wish Janet was here to go for walks with me. Do I still wish that I could go for coffee with
Mom? Or go our for breakfast which was a nice treat once in a while. Loving someone means that their life leaves a hole where they once were. I share the memories with friends and my cousins because it’s natural. It’s my way of keeping their memory alive.
Every year at Mothers Day my Mom had a hard time because she missed her Mom. It didn’t matter that she had died many years before and she was a mother herself. She was still her daughter. Just like I will always be Janet’s twin and a daughter.