What an interesting word…knackered. It’s not a word we use in everyday language. I certainly know what it feels like though. When I was caring for my Mom this would be the word I could use. And then when she died I was still exhausted but was expected to look after everything. Grieving for 3 people I just thought this was my new normal.
I had an appointment at diabetes centre this morning. They were really impressed with how well I am doing. The nurse said that I seem to be in the right mindset. That I’m doing it for myself. When my Mom died it was hard because I was suddenly alone in the sense that I didn’t have a family. The only person I could rely on was myself.
As someone who cared for other people it took me a long time to change my mindset to caring for myself. I know that we are told to put the oxygen mask on first but I didn’t. When my Mom died I didn’t care if I ate junk and some days I didn’t feel like eating period. Everything was just so much effort. When I moved I had less responsibilities and there was a weight lifted.
This has been the year of me. I buy myself flowers, I’ll go out for dinner. I’m being good to myself and that means what I put into my body.
Today I am doing a little retail therapy and buying patio furniture for my balcony. A little coffee time with a good friend.