Today is the first official day of Twinless Twins conference. It is being held in Tucson and I don’t do well with heat so I didn’t go. But I’ve been thinking a lot about how do they “tailor” a program to suit everyone’s needs? When I first went there wasn’t as much social time as there is now and I was ok with that because I was going to learn coping strategies. To listen to how other people have made it thru this journey.
One of the big things that they do at conference is sharing our story. And by this it means sharing how your twin died. I attended a bereavement support group and I know why we did it but for me how she died was such a small part of the story. Harder still because it was so public the story was already out there. I have gone to 4 conferences and I can honestly say the only way I found out the story of WHO they were is from Facebook. How bout when we are introduced to someone ask them to tell you about their twin not how they died.
I also have a hard time in group situations anymore, I’m better one on one. I think it’s because I was a caregiver for a long time and homebound. I had a wonderful time at Christmas and Canada Day with people who welcomed me.
I am thankful for twin friends to talk to and who have helped me so much. But I also know there was a time when I didn’t think of the friends who lost Janet too. I am not just Janet’s twin at conference. I’m her twin everyday. I can honour her memory by writing this blog, by living a good life, being happy.