A couple nights ago I had a dream about my family. The last time I saw my cousins was almost 4 yrs ago. In the dream we talked about Janet and an Aunt smiled at me as if she was glad that I am keeping their memory alive. Dreams are funny because it’s presenting something that would never happen in real life. Letting your feelings remain “dormant” is not healthy. It’s comforting being able to talk to my Moms brother and his daughter about my grandparents, my crazy Aunt, Mom and her Mom. We all have different memories but we also have the same experiences. My Aunt was a hoarder and she was cheap. I reconnected with my Aunt on Facebook. They were divorced but I always thought of her as my Aunt. I would laugh st how she called it “the old farts swim class”. She wrote really lengthy letters and was always there to talk to on fb. It was unfair that she died young. She should have been able to retire and enjoy life. They brought back the toblerone for the summer and it made me think of my cousin who said the truffles were not the same.
7 years ago I posted a photo of a quilt that I bid on at an auction at the Twinless Twins conference. I saw it on the wall and just thought it was so beautiful. I didn’t even realize until I got it home that it had Janet’s favourite colours…red and hunter green, and mine yellow and purple. It really was meant to be. I remember thinking am I nuts to spend this much money on a quilt but I knew I would regret it if I didn’t. The take away was that life is short. I deserved to have something that made me happy. People told me that but I had a really hard time with the word. Maybe that’s why I was able to frame it when I moved because it was a fresh start.
A friend is having a garage sale this weekend and she posted a photo of a scrabble board. Mom and I used to play and she would play every week at her seniors group at church. One week she came home and told me this lady made the word “fart”. When they looked at her she exclaimed “what, we all do it”. Mom cried when she died because she said it was never the same playing after that. At her funeral they placed her Tilly hat on the casket because that was what she was known for. It’s why we go to funerals or visitations. Not just to show our respect but to share our memories. My Uncle said he learned a lot when my grandfather died from his carpet ball buddies. We know them as one person but there is so much more to them. Sometimes you forget that parents actually had a life before they were married and had kids.