Growing up my father had the rule that we all ate at the table at 5pm. It meant that when my brother started playing after school sports sometimes this was rushed but we kept to it. Even as a child I understood the purpose for this was to sit at the table as a family. As we grew older it was a chance to catch up on the day. We didn’t say grace at every meal but always at suppertime and if we had company. I remember one time we didn’t have too much food in the house and supper was a mish mash and I said “we’re blessing THIS?” When I go to other peoples houses for dinner I always pause for grace and then I realize oh they don’t do grace here.
My father’s sisters did not believe in shortening your given name so they always used the full name for my brother even though he had a nickname as a child and even now only uses the full name for work. Janet was the only one who used the short form and then when I went to the twinless twins conference it sort of stuck after one person used it.
Some people call ministers by their first name but I can’t do it. My Mom couldn’t either. For us it was a sign of respect. It’s also why when I address a card for my friend I use her title. My Mom always taught me that they earned the title so you use it.
I also have values that seem to be going by the wayside. My grandmother and my mother both believed in thank you cards but it’s really not done anymore. I was raised to dress respectfully depending on the situation. Flip flops are not appropriate work attire in a bank.
We had a conversation when one of my cousins got married because she had been living with her boyfriend for 3 years. My parents believed that there was a proper order…you get married, then you live together and then you have kids. Old fashioned in this day and age but Mom was proud that it sunk in with my brother. The thing that bothered them was living together to save money and then having a wedding with 200 guests. My Dad had the rule…well I’m not sure if it’s a rule per say…that you didn’t pick and choose your guests. You invite ALL the family to a wedding then there aren’t any bad feelings.
I guess you could say that the fact that they didn’t believe in keeping up with the joneses was probably a value too. They were practical. When I was young I thought we were so conservative. But now that they are both gone I realize that all of these things have stuck with me. Thanks Mom and Dad. I was listening.