TV Show

I started watching a tv show called Date my Dad. It was on after another show I was watching and I was curious. It’s about a guy whose wife died 3 years ago and his daughters are trying to get him back in the game…so to speak.
This weeks episode involved them going to the cabin that they went to as a family. They show a preview of next weeks episode and I knew I would bawl when I watched it and I did. I pretty well cry at almost every episode.
When they get to the cabin everyone goes off to do their own thing. The middle daughter has a grade 6 science project about an ecosystem and is having trouble picking a topic. Their neighbour had gone with them so he takes her out for a walk to look for an idea. He is showing her moss on a tree and explains how everything works together. If you take away one thing it affects everything else. I’m not paraphrasing it well but there was this awkward pause when he realized how it related to the loss of their mother. I remember relating it to a jigsaw puzzle with a piece missing. The picture is still there but it’s not complete.
The youngest child is 7 and she doesn’t have any memories of being there with her mother. That got me too because it made me think of how memories are so powerful. What would it feel like not to have any? There is a scene where she sits in her mothers chair and the eldest daughter gets mad because to her it’s sacrilegious. When I moved I brought my Dads chair with me but I knew when I found a couch I would get rid of it. A couple of my friends didn’t get it. It wasn’t just the fact it didn’t go with my new place but it was DADS.
There is a moment when the eldest daughter runs off and her father has a talk with her. She tells him “I didn’t want to come here”. For him it’s comforting going back there but for her it was a reminder of what she lost. Every family member reacts differently. It was such a honest portrayal. When my Dad underwent chemo I went into the room with him and once he was set up I left. The nurse said I was welcome to stay and Dad told her “she doesn’t want to be here”. I had never spoken it out loud but he knew. There are times I had to force myself to go. My brother thought it was odd that Mom and I went to out flowers on the grave on our birthday. Like the Dad in the tv show for us it was comforting.
Tonight I had a really good chat with a friend of mine. We talked about empathy. She talked about how when she met my friends at the celebration of life for Janet last year she could tell how much they cared for me. She didn’t grow up with us because I met her in college so it’s a different relationship but like many people reading this blog she has gotten to know her better through my stories. I like to think the friends I grew up with get to know her better too.

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