This is interesting that this word came up for thr prompt today. Yesterday I was reading an article that was trending on Facebook with regards to the 2016 census. According to the report 28 percent of households are single and many no children. They cite many reasons for this…economics, divorces and people living longer so their spouse has died.
My Dad was 36 when my parents got married so he was a bachelor for a while. To save money he stayed in boarding houses. My grandparents lived at home until they were married. When my grandmother died he was lost because he had never lived alone.
I remember going to my Aunts house for dinner and in the course of conversation she mentioned how many people she knew that were my age that were single. But the way she said it I knew that she didn’t see it as a good thing. I have a couple of cousins who didn’t have kids and that was seen as odd too. I don’t know whether it was by choice or not but it’s up to the individual. They make wonderful aunts and uncles because they have the freedom to do more things.
There is a sense of independence from being single. I’m not responsible for anyone but myself. Being married means you have to ask someone’s permission if you want to spend money because it’s shared I don’t have to do that.
I don’t believe in “happily ever after”. A true partnership means there will be trials. My parents weren’t demonstrative but the day before my Dad died he held on to my Moms hand so tight. It literally means growing old together. My parents had shared values. Dads rules were “their rules”.
The word partner doesn’t just mean romantic. Janet was my partner…often jokingly my partner in crime. She was my coffee buddy, my walking partner, the person I cooked with and my shopping consultant. We would sit outside and not have to say a word. She was the person who calmed me down and would tell me it usually isn’t that big of a deal. But she was also the person who would beat someone up if they messed with her family. After Janet died Mom was my partner. She was my rock because I could talk openly to her. We both lost our partners.
I once told someone that I went for walks “by myself” not alone. They didn’t get the difference. For me Janet walked beside me so I wasn’t alone. Being single means there are days when I’m lonely but I remember A friend is just an email or phone call away.