Courage

Courage

This drawing is probably the best representation of the word for today. I actually asked my friend to draw something for my brother I didn’t know she was going to draw one for me too. She said she struggled with it.
These are the words that she decided on. Janet is courage because it takes courage every day to live my life without my twin. She is the person who always had my back. It took courage to start a blog post and attend a writing class. I had to read my stuff out loud to strangers. I didn’t know how my blog was going to be received. It takes courage every time I have to walk into the hospital for a Dr appointment because it’s where I lost 2 important people. I am able to speak up for myself. When I was planning the party for the anniversary of Janet’s death I had to answer the family question. I had to have the courage to walk away from the only family I had left because I didn’t want to lose the person I had become.
She gave Dad strength. My Dad grew up on a farm and he was a letter carrier so physically he was strong but it took a lot of strength to decide that he wasn’t going to have treatment when his cancer returned. To face cancer on his terms. The strength to be able to talk about things that non of us ever want to talk about. This took courage for me too because I knew I was going to lose my father less than 3 years after Janet.
Love. Well truthfully this is a word that could go with all 3. My Mom was selfless. She taught us how to be good people by example. She was someone I could talk to.
I was never someone that liked change so it took courage to accept pretty rapid change. To accept that I had changed. To be true to myself.

3 thoughts on “Courage

  1. Such a thoughtful and moving post.Going through all these hardships and losing people in life and still being kind to people, shows what a king and giving soul you must be.And obviously, a part of it goes to your amazing parents who instilled those qualities in you.

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