What do you want to reflect

Yesterday I went to get bloodwork done and she found a vein in my arm but it moved (yes this is what happens to me). So while she is pressing my arm to find another area and switching to the left arm she decides ok it’s going to be in the hand. She did ask if I was ok with that and I always tell them if you can get it without any trouble just do it. Oh the way home on the bus we get stopped by a train…so much for “rapid” transit. I stopped for an iced coffee at my local coffee shop. I was really glad they didn’t have music on it was nice and quiet.
After I was finished I stopped into the flower shop on the corner. Every time I go in she asks if I need a card and I told her no it’s for my pain and suffering showing her my hand. I also booked a manicure and lunch at my favourite restaurant for my birthday. As time passes it has become easier to decide I’m going to sit at a table by myself.
A mirror reflects ourselves. After I moved and things in my life became more settled people could see a difference. I can never get into the building without passing my supers when I buy myself flowers. I stopped to chat with her and of course she teases me you didn’t have to buy me flowers. Not 5 mins later he comes out from somewhere and says the same thing. I have often talked about a couple of people at my church that are wonderful huggers. They make everyone feel welcome and loved.
I was recently talking to a twin friend of mine and she got talking about the not so nice things reflected in someone. Things that I had noticed myself but I was hoping I was wrong about. Someone who is supposed to be helping others should be doing it for the right reasons. It makes me so sad that this isn’t the case. I remember the first time I went to conference and there was a woman there who was a honorary greeter. We wrote long letters 2 or 3 times a year (and still do). She truly cares for everyone that goes. At the same time she is honest. This road that we are travelling together as twinless twins is hard. The people that give out the vibe that grief is something to “get over” are going to turn off people that are not at that place.
We should all try to be the best we can be so that when we look in the mirror we like what we see.

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Government

The word for today is bastion…2. an institution, place, or person strongly defending or upholding particular principles, attitudes, or activities.
Oh my goodness there is nothing that represents this more than having to fill out paperwork for the government. I recently had to renew my passport. Easy enough once one fills out all the paperwork it’s just a matter of mailing it in. This morning I went to renew my health card. I didn’t receive a renewal notice because I moved and wasn’t aware you are supposed to inform them. When I went up to the desk the woman told me that the statement I had from bank isn’t sufficient. Oh my goodness I do my banking online so I just took a piece of mail thinking well it has my address on it. Thankfully she allowed it but gave me a big lecture. She told me a photo ID card would be easier so I ended up breaking down and getting one. I just don’t understand why I can cross the border with a passport but our own government won’t allow it for ID purposes.
Of course she asks have I ever had a license. These are the only times when I feel embarrassed that I don’t have one. When we were dealing with Mom’s estate I had to have my passport for ID. I think they also used a credit card. When I go to vote it will be easier now that I have a photo ID card.
I live in a city that has a decent bus system. I say decent because it could be more efficient. I live downtown and get to Dr appointments and the lab by bus. When I go to my family Dr I usually take a cab there and bus it home. There is underground parking in my building for a monthly fee. I can take a lot of cabs for the cost of maintaining a car.
Tomorrow I have to go and get bloodwork and I will stop off at the flower shop at the corner and buy myself something for my pain and suffering. Before it would have been chocolate!

Good people

Yesterday I had to phone my Grocery guy to see if he could run an errand for me. A little easier to explain over the phone. Because I have been shopping at the market a lot I don’t need many groceries but he said I might as well get a few since he’s charging me the fee anyway. When I was telling a friend she said it’s so nice that there are professional people still out there. Someone who goes the extra mile.
On Friday they were doing the yearly fire alarm check. Starting at 9am they go into each unit and check the smoke detectors. All you here is beep, beep, beep. After they checked mine I got ready to go and run some errands. My super caught me outside and was joking I had to get away from the noise. She informed me of elevator in service. I asked her whether they voted and she told me where the polling station was. She and her husband don’t just take care of the building they care for the people in it. When I was looking after the estate she would ask how I was doing, how I was handling everything.
Last night when I was talking to a friend I got talking about my kidney Dr. Since she was Mom’s Dr when she was in the hospital she knows what I went through at the time and dealing with everything afterwards. She’s also noticed the change since I’ve moved.
We look at people in the news that seem to be out for number 1. We need the reminder that there are good people out there too.

Pizza

On Thursday I went to the market and the woman was selling buffalo chicken pizza. Hemp seed sourdough crust pizza. I had to run some errands yesterday and by the time I got back I didn’t feel like cooking so I popped it in the oven. Oh my goodness I can’t even describe how good it was. Sure it’s not like the ones with the oozy cheese and piles of pepperoni but to me it was! I can’t have store bought or delivery pizza because it’s too much sodium. Fast food is a no no it makes me feel…yucky to put it mildly. I was telling her this morning that I have given up pizza and I was so happy I could have it. It sold out too so you know it must have been good.
For most people they can’t even imagine giving up pizza. It’s tradition. It’s my fondest memory growing up was going to Mother’s pizza for PD days with Mom and us kids. My Aunt would over in pizza. It was what we had when we didn’t feel like cooking. I remember Mom and Dad went away for a weekend and that’s what Janet and I had.
Yesterday I was watching Trish’s home cooking on the cooking channel. She and her sister were cooking with eggs they got at a local farm. They had asparagus hash with sweet potatoes and a fried egg on top. That gave me an idea for the asparagus I got at the market. I only like scrambled but the hash would be good on the side. I bought maple sausage to go with it.
I have often said that Mom guided me to the place I live now. What could be better than living a 10 min walk away from a place where I can get local produce. They print recipes on their website to make with whatever ingredients are in season. Recently I bought a dinner with asparagus, bbq pork and celery root. I’ve never heard of celery root but it was good.
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t think of all the foods that I CANT have but all the yummy things I CAN HAVE.

In a pickle


Well the Ontario Election is over. I kind of feel like I have election hang over because I stayed up a little later watching the results and then I was talking to a friend online. Doesn’t help they are doing the yearly fire alarm check and I hear beep, beep beep. Seriously you had to do that today??!! It took me a while to get to sleep because my mind didn’t shut off. Thank goodness for Facebook because as I was watching TVO last night I was missing watching it with my Dad. I flipped back and forth between a few channels but TVO definitely had the best panelists. We do have a local station but all they did was bicker at each other. Let’s just say I have never liked the one woman even though I respect the fact that she works hard for her constituents.
I was shocked that half an hour after the polls closed they could predict a winner. It’s great for the candidates and their supporters because they could go home at a reasonable time. I’m thrilled my person got elected because he actually cares about one of the issues that was important to me which is health care. I was talking to a family friend of my Mom in February who told me she went to vote when the person was running to be a candidate for the riding. I was shocked at some of the things that she said. I don’t understand what someone’s religious viewpoints or their marital status has to do with their ability to govern us.
I grew up in a family that discussed politics at the dinner table. My grandfather voted for Rae. My Dad’s family didn’t believe in the saying that you don’t talk about politics or religion at the table. There was nothing my Dad like more than watching election night coverage and pouring over the results in the paper the next day. I don’t understand how we only have a 60% turnout. Do the other 40% just not care? I have a couple of friends whose children were old enough to vote for the first time. It made me proud to see parents who obviously instilled the importance of voting into them.
So we now are left with the big pickle. What is going to happen in the next 4 years? The scary thing is we have no idea because our premier didn’t have a platform. He’s going to have to pick cabinet members. I grew up believing that people ran because they believed in something. Because they wanted to make our community better. At the bible study that I attended one person used to tease me and say “Your Prime Minister” because he knew I helped with a conservative campaign. I would tell him that whoever is elected represents everyone whether you vote for them or not. That’s the part that we all struggle with afterwards. Time will tell how it all plays out.

Connections


I have shared the story here of the year that I bid on this quilt at the Twinless Twins conference in Detroit. I saw it hanging on the wall when I walked in and knew I had to have it. It wasn’t until I got home that I noticed it had our favourite colours in it. Red and hunter green for Janet and yellow and purple for me. It’s interesting to note that yellow and purple are opposites on the colour wheel. At the time I remember telling myself that life was too short. That I would regret not buying it. A fellow twin who was sitting at my table sent me an email when she got home and said she went out and bought red boots that she had been admiring because I inspired her. It now has a prominent place in my apartment. I think the things that you have in your home should make you happy.
This morning when I walked over to the booth that sells frozen meals she asked me if I’m a twin. I had commented on a picture of the meal I had last week and she noticed the picture of me and Janet on my profile page. She said it made her so happy. Then she told me her partner is a twin but he doesn’t look like his twin. In 2 weeks it will be our birthday and I think this was a little reminder that the connection lives on. That being a twin is special. I shared with her that my twin died and how birthdays are different. How you think you will be able to share the day with them forever. She’s still with me.

Nightmare

Growing up Janet and I had the same recurring dream. The 4 of us would be driving off a bridge (Dad would be at work that’s why he wasn’t in the car) and all of a sudden it would be out and we would drive off. We never hit the water that’s when we would wake up. I’m sure it meant something that we both had the same dream. When I was young my greatest fear was public speaking. I hated getting up in front of the class and giving a speech. And yet when Janet and I were in our 30s we were interviewed a number of times for tv and I wasn’t scared at all. In 2016 I was interviewed for our local news at a campaign rally for Stephen Harper. The guy wandered around the room and nobody wanted to talk to him so Janet and I said we’ll do it. Our local candidate was good talking to people one on one but didn’t like public speaking. I didn’t really have time to think about being nervous. Although afterwards I thought geez I didn’t even know if I had enough make up on or anything.
I think going through life the things that we fear change. Right now my “nightmare” is paperwork. I recently renewed my passport which was fairly easy once I got everything together. I don’t think anyone likes doing their income tax. I have to renew my health card but because I moved I didn’t get a renewal notice so I had to print out the form from home and check online what I need to take with me for ID. And then there is the paperwork to take for bloodwork. Yesterday I found one in my microwave drawer for my June appointment. Getting blood drawn used to be a nightmare but it’s gotten better since I’ve upped my water. I hate fasting!!
I lived through my greatest nightmare which was losing my twin and best friend. Watching my Dad die of cancer and then becoming an orphan when my Mom died. People don’t understand unless they have experienced it themselves. I have a Dr appointment at the hospital on the day that my Dad died. It definitely won’t be an easy thing walking in there that day but sometimes we have to do things that are hard but we have no choice in. As much as possible I avoid the things that are triggers for me. If I’m having a bad day I will buy myself some flowers or just have a coffee out instead of at home. Hugging my teddy bear makes me feel better too.

Flexible

Yesterday I went to get my haircut. Because I ran out of milk and needed something at the dollar store I decided to go to the one in the plaza with Metro. Even though I have lived downtown for over 2 years I haven’t found a place to get my haircut nearby. Most are salons so I would pay 3 times what I pay at the place I go to now. I may try out the salon around the corner since it had good reviews online.
I am an early riser so if I’m running any errands I get going by 9am. On Saturday I left a little early which is why I met up with my Uncle there. By the time I finish and walk home I can have my morning coffee and treat. My former neighbour is not a morning person so we will go at 10:30.
When I go for Dr appointments I make it early in the morning so then I can get it over with. There is nothing worse than having one at 10:45 which means you can’t do a whole lot before and by the time you are finished it’s lunch time.
I think the thing I had to be most flexible about was buying furniture for my apartment. I had something in mind for dining room but it was too big so I bought a small round table. I like it but it certainly isn’t something I would have picked out if I hadn’t been in the store. Of course there is the story of the couch that was too big. I wasn’t going to compromise on the fact that it had to be red.
Being a Twinless twin I have to allow for flexibility on the day of our birthday. I have had lovely dinners with friends and sometimes I just need to be alone on the day.

Flummoxed

I have to admit right now I am feeling a little flummoxed on how I am going to get all the things done that I have to do by the end of the month. I voted early to get it over with. This is the first election in a long time that I’m following. My old neighbourhood seems to be voting for the incumbent who is NDP. The PC candidate is quite controversial since he is a radio host hand picked by Ford. Although Wynne conceding on Saturday wouldn’t have changed my mind it is an interesting turn of events. As someone who worked on campaigns it must be hard for liberals to maintain some momentum.
I still have to renew my health card but need to print out the form before I go. Got a haircut this morning so you can actually see my eyes in the picture. Tomorrow will be groceries and Wednesday go and renew. I’m trying not to stress because even in the worst case scenario I can get bloodwork a few days before.
This is what Mom used to complain about when she said her life revolves around Dr appointments. It’s one of those necessary evils. Because my friend teaches I’m not sure whether it’s even going to work for coffee this month. We both have to sit down with our calendars and see. I wish there was more time in the day to be able to get together with friends.
Right now I’m also trying to decide where to go in July to avoid Rock the Park. Summer will be here before I know it.

RDP#2–Grocery carts

Have you ever noticed how Grocery carts give great “insight” into the person shopping? Maybe it’s just me that checks out people’s carts as I’m wandering around the store or waiting in line to get checked out. Somebody who has a couple cases of pop, bags of chips and maybe burgers is having a party. At Christmas there will be a whole lot of wine in some carts.
Occasionally we would run into couples from church grocery shopping at our usual place. One had orange juice, oatmeal and all sorts of healthy stuff. We could tell it was her influence. If I see a middle aged man with a couple of frozen meals, a loaf of bread and milk chances are he’s a bachelor. After my grandmother died this is what my grandfather ate. They even brand it “hungry man”. I just think it’s so sad.
I have a pitcher for water in my fridge but will buy bottled water occasionally if I’m going somewhere. I will throw one into a bag going to Dr office.
This morning I ran into my Uncle at the Farmers Market. He and I are the same and we buy baked goods because we aren’t going to bake for one. Although he definitely cooks more than I do. I now know where Janet got it because they both like to experiment when cooking. I go to the booth with individual meals because it’s nice to have some on hand. I bought the last cabbage roll stew…basically deconstructed cabbage rolls.
My grocery delivery people will often comment how I eat very healthy because I have lots of fruits and veggies on the list. You won’t find chips or cookies in my place either. I will admit I miss date squares and doughnuts but I’ve learned to live without it. And I don’t care what anyone says cauliflower will never be pizza!