Friday the 13th

I’ve never really been a superstitious type of person. My grandparents had their first day on a Friday thr 13th and they were married for 50 years. My cousin was born on a Friday the 13th so I guess you could say in our family it’s brought good luck. I know when I go up in an elevator I think it still has a 13th floor we just don’t call it that.
I will admit that I am a bit of a worrier in that if something is going to go wrong it will. I thought I was so organized packing my bag and there are a couple of things I missed. I bought a travel sized Tylenol and it’s probably still on the counter or in the bag. The last time I went on vacation I was going to refill my toiletry bag so I wouldn’t have to get stuff at the last minute and that didn’t happen. I am the type of person that packs too many clothes. I don’t wear a different shirt everyday at home but on vacation I do. Although lately I’ve been wearing two shirts a day because I spill something on it.
Yesterday I sat outside and read my latest Oprah magazine which came a week ago. They asked the editors “WHAT WOULD YOU ACCOMPLISH IF YOU HAD NO FEAR?” It’s an interesting question. I guess the point is that fear holds us back from doing things. I remember the first time I went to a writing class and I was so scared to read something out loud. I was afraid of what people would say. But it got easier. I think fear took on a different context for me after my family died because the worst thing had already happened. I used to fear being alone but now that I’ve lived with it for a few years I’m more comfortable. There are moments when it’s still hard. While I’m sitting in the dining room and I’m on the only person eating alone it hits me.
Even doing this blog was something that I had to get up the nerve to do. I was afraid of what people would say. It’s not easy sharing personal things for other people to read. I’m amazed at how many things I have accomplished even though I had fear. My friends constantly told me I was strong and eventually I believed them.

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