I’ve been thinking about this word a lot recently after receiving an email from a twin friend who is having a hard time at the moment. It’s been 10 years since she lost her twin and 5 since her husband died. It’s a double whammy for her as she has lost both partners. I was a caregiver to my Dad at the same time she was caring for her husband. When I was walking back to my apartment with my friend she asked when the last time I went to see a play was so I told her with Mom (which would have been 5 years ago). I gave my coffee buddy a gift certificate to a movie theatre and she asked if I even go to a movie theatre. I told her I couldn’t remember the last time I did but it was probably with Janet. I mentioned this to a couple of twin friends but I could tell that although they understood they couldn’t RELATE because they have never had to go somewhere alone.
I’m not going to do things that I associate with Mom or Janet with someone else. They are things I shared with them. I know my friends mean well but I need to do what works for me. When I went to writing class although I write about my family it is something that is mine.
Last night I watched New Amsterdam. Because it’s on at 10pm I watch it the next day. Plus it’s not a show I can watch before I go to bed! When I watched the scene where Max got to talk to his sister I was bawling. I love how Max changed them.
My partners aren’t physically with me but I can hear Mom in my head often. When I go for a walk I feel Janet with me. I carry them in my heart.

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