Today is one of those days that is filled with mixed emotions for someone that has lost her mother. I look at the picture of a woman that I know from the Farmers Market who recently had a baby and I see the absolute joy that she has. I see the photos a long time friend posted and it makes me smile because I know what it means for her to be a mother.
After Janet and I started going to another church we would still go with Mom to her church on Mother’s Day. After Dad died we would go out for brunch or to Tim Hortons for lunch. When I went into the card store to find a birthday card for my friend they already had Mother’s Day cards out even though it was still March. It’s hard going into that section because it’s a reminder of the cards I can never buy…sister and Mom. Even yesterday when I bought tulips for myself the woman thought I was buying them for Mother’s Day. Last year I went for a walk in Victoria Park but this year it’s cold with the threat of rain.
This morning I changed my profile picture to the first pictures taken after we came home from the hospital. Grandma is holding both of us with Mom sitting beside her on the couch. Although I had seen the picture many times when I looked at it I could see that joy that a new mother has. A twin friend asked if my mother knew she was having twins and she didn’t until she was in labour since one of us was always behind the other one. We were born a month premature so we stayed in the hospital for 2 or 3 weeks. I remember Mom telling us that it felt weird giving birth but going home without her babies. I guess in a way it must have given them time to adjust. When I was moving I thought about the fact that my Mom was very pregnant with us and was also working. Gosh I can’t even imagine. Growing up I just took everything that Mom did for us for granted. I talk a lot about the values that my parents taught me. Finish what you start. If you make a commitment to someone you see it through.
As I mentioned in the eulogy for Mom she was a selfless person. She used to say that she couldn’t win raising 3 kids that were incredibly stubborn. She used to tell people that if she told me to do something I would do it the exact opposite way. “I did it MY WAY” as the song says. Although I wouldn’t admit it she wasn’t entirely wrong.
Don’t worry Mom I did listen sometimes!!