There have been moments this summer when I have done things on my own where I wish Janet was there. The first card that my friend ever did in colour Janet and I were in a hot air balloon. It was one of the last things we did together on a roll of film. When I went to Eldon House for Canada Day I thought about how it would have been fun to have Janet to go with. This card represents all of those thoughts and memories in my head. It’s a party on a card.
I have mentioned before how the fact that the drawings now have colour kind of reflected a time in my life where colour came back. Signs came into my life because I was ready to see them. I can celebrate special times in my life knowing Janet is always with me.
On Facebook there is a feature called Memories that shows your posts from previous years. Today it showed a class picture that I had posted from grade 5 I believe. The picture of me and Janet is taken from our public school graduation which is 31 years ago. I am friends with a lot of my public school classmates on facebook. The passage of time means many are married, have children. Maybe they have moved away or in the case of my friend far, far away. But each person will comment on a picture and even though many years have passed the memories are still fresh. Each person has their own memory. Or there are memories that I had forgotten until someone else brings it up. I stayed with a friend when I went to Vancouver. Despite the fact that it was almost 20 years since we had seen each other it was like no time had passed at all.
Recently a picture came up when my cousin came to visit when she was here for a festival downtown. It was hard to believe that it has been 5 years since it was taken. We were going to go for coffee and Mom suggested that she come to the house. Since we lived across the street from our grandparents she kiddingly said I think I can find it. Those photos and memories became extra special because Mom died a little over a year later. As much as people may complain about Facebook it was how she and I reconnected.
Yesterday a friend helped me with some stuff. We have known each other for years as we grew up in the same church and helped with Sunday School. She was someone where our relationship didn’t change after Janet died.
There are always going to be those people in our lives that are only in our lives for a season. The people that we classified as friends are now acquaintances. Time often gives us perspectives on things that we couldn’t see in the moment. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that it’s inevitable. There is no explaining why some friends stay forever and some don’t. Those forever friends are gifts.
Some days I feel like this word is the bane of my existence. When I went away I had my cellphone in my purse mostly to use it to see what time it was. When I pulled it out I saw that the battery was lower than I thought and I didn’t bring the charger. Since I rarely use my phone I don’t charge it every day like I do my iPad. When I was on the train everyone around me was on their cellphone. One morning when I was having breakfast outside the 3 people next to me were all on their phones too.
I am old school and prefer to use a camera to take pictures instead of a cellphone. But I’ve come to realize that I’m alone in this. My camera has a battery that you slip into a charger that plugs into the wall. When the light turns green it’s fully charged. I was talking to a friend recently about the fact that everyone uses their cellphones to take pictures and she says she is guilty of that. Does anyone print them off from their phone?
A lot of people don’t have a landline anymore. To save money they just use their cellphone. I need a landline to let people into the building but I also prefer to have a phone that is plugged in.
I hated the job of replacing the batteries in our smoke detectors. The ones in the building must be wired in because they have never changed them.
We often refer to going away on vacation as recharging our batteries. I know for my teacher friends summer is their time to rest. We all need to take time for ourselves even if it’s just a spa day. Electronics don’t run on low batteries and neither do we.
I’m grateful that I have people that care about me. Yesterday a friend took me to the Dr because I came home with pain in my right leg. Because I live in an apartment I tell my supers when I go away in case there is an emergency they know I’m not home. She phoned in the evening to check to see how I was and even offered to take me to urgent care if it got worse. When I was looking after my Mom I got used to doing things on my own so it took so time to get used to having people there for me. I don’t know how I lucked out to live where I do and have such wonderful superintendents but I’m thankful everyday that I live here.
I’m really really thankful that I have a fridge full of healthy food again. Of course when I don’t feel well it’s a blessing to have a service that delivers my groceries. I had a new person yesterday and when she was leaving she noticed my family picture. She is the only one that ever has. I told her that it was the first thing that I put up when I moved in.
I told my friend that I am thankful for a walk in shower. Not having to step in and out of a shower is a great thing!
Call display! I think we all have had moments in our lives when someone phones that we just don’t have the energy to speak to. It makes me even more thankful for the family members that truly care. The people I can be real with.
On Friday it’s going to be 45 degrees Celsius or about 110F which makes me glad I have central air. As I write this it’s pouring rain AGAIN. I guess it’s supposed to make us more thankful for the nice sunny days.
The joy of ice cream. I changed my profile pic to a photo of me licking my ice cream at this cute shop across the street from the hotel. It makes me smile because it’s fun.
I love sunsets. When Mom and I went on our cruise 10 years ago I would take a picture every night. I find it interesting how each one is different. Some nights I will take a picture with my iPad but this day I decided to get my camera out because I could zoom in. It is stunning.
The second picture is taken sitting on the outdoor patio at the hotel in Burlington. There is something about water that I find calming.
Nature provides us with its own beauty. The changing colours of leaves, the colourful bounty of produce right now, the sparkle of newly fallen snow.
Last night I went across the street to a restaurant that was recommended by someone on the Weightloss group I belong to on Facebook. I must have been more hungry than I realized because cleaned my plate which never happens when I eat out. Since it was a nice night I decided to go for a walk after. The great thing about walking along the path is there are lots of benches to sit. I came across this sign that says Burlington Twinning. Of course I had to take a picture. It had to do with a veterans memorial. I definitely saw that as a sign because yesterday was the start of the Twinless Twins conference. It also made me feel like it was Janet’s way of saying I approve of your choice of hotel. Then on the way back I saw a mother with young twin girls.
I will admit that having 3 ice cream shops across the street from the hotel is not great but I’m trying to offset it by walks. I’m currently sitting on the restaurant patio of the hotel so they can clean my room. It’s quite lovely today since the rain yesterday cleared out the heat and humidity. Oh I hate humidity. I definitely can’t walk as far as I used to be able to. I wish I knew why.
Think I’ll go for a walk along the water.
A fellow blogger commented yesterday that I didn’t mention where I was. Here is the link https://www.waterfronthotelburlington.com/
I have to admit it’s been a mixed bag with that word so far. While I was sitting by the water there is construction going on across the street. When I went to bed I could hear people laughing going down the hall and the doors don’t close softly. And then at 3AM I heard an amber alert on my phone. I usually turn off my phone before I go to bed but I forgot. So I was probably awake every 2 hrs. While I was sitting having breakfast I overheard a gentleman ask his friend or business associate if he slept well and he said not really. I overheard another gentlemen talking about how we should drink a glass of water before our meal in the morning. Another one was complaining about his wife’s curlers. Sitting at a table by myself I thought to myself you don’t know how lucky you are.
Because I live across the street from Rock the Park I go away to get solitude but I’ve come to realize that hotels are going to bring with it some noise. Healthy eating while away from home is hit or miss. I feel like I need to do a little more research.
When I go away I miss the things I love about where I live. I miss my walk in shower. My chatty superintendents. A Facebook friend posted pictures of strawberries and I will be missing the market this week. While it’s nice to get away home really is where the heart is.
Did not have a great start as I got on the wrong train car. Perhaps there is something to the fact that a bird flew into my patio door last night hard enough that he didn’t get up (side note my super was outside so I told her and she is going to have her husband dispose of it). My seat number was also 13. The Via rail attendants were very helpful. I’ve actually been on some and they don’t even help you with your bags.
This is my view from my hotel window. I chose this hotel because I could access it from Oakville and it reminded me of walking down the pier in Santa Barbara with Janet. I walked across the street to this really cute coffee shop/ice cream parlour for my afternoon snack. I was facing the window and a lot of people had the same idea as I could see the walking down the sidewalk. I was even able to get a woman sitting at a table beside me to take my picture. Afterwards I went for a walk along the pier and sat watching the boats go by. Really quite pleasant sitting by the water.
Unfortunately tomorrow it’s supposed to storm so I’ll just stay in my room and read a book. That is the only downside to holidays. I wish I had time to get a bathing suit before I left because I could have used the pool.
It’s a really quaint area with cute little shops and hanging baskets. I didn’t realize there were so many restaurants across the way. I may just have dinner in hotel as I did some walking this afternoon and I’m a little tired from travelling.
There are moments when I think of Janet. Whenever we took the train Janet sat on the aisle and I sat beside the window and then we would switch on the way home. Booking online I can pick my seat so I always get an aisle. When I was sitting by the water I wished Janet was sitting with me. At least I can share here and on Facebook but it’s not the same as having someone to share it with.
Thursday we had a power surge in the apartment which happens every so often. Unfortunately when I tried to turn on my computer it wouldn’t turn on. Because I don’t drive errands like this are a little harder so I phoned Nerds on Site. Finally got a call back this morning. I titled this going with the flow because I’m trying to organize my stuff to go away for a few days on Wednesday and right now I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I printed out my boarding pass for the train. Even though I could use my Ipad for me it’s easier to print it out and put it in my purse. I also typed up a packing list on my Ipad. Because I also have to take medications I want to make sure I have everything. I will admit I’m the type of person that prepares for any eventuality so I pack Tylenol, ice gel and pepto. Rainy day? I saved a couple Oprah magazines to read.
On the plus side I posted on the weight loss group for suggestions of restaurants near the hotel where I would be staying. I had no idea that there were so many within walking distance of the hotel. I wish I had time to go shopping for a bathing suit but I didn’t so that will be on the list when I get back home. There is even a cute coffee shop across the street from the hotel. A lot of ice cream shops too. Oh well it is a vacation!
On Saturday I cooked some meatballs in the slow cooker which I transferred to the freezer. I put Eggos on the grocery list so that I have something I can have for breakfast when I return home. I’ve never been good at figuring out how much food to buy to tide me over until I go. Since I’m diabetic I also put down granola bars to put in my purse. The hotel I’m staying at also has a little snack area in the lobby with drinks, yogurt, apples, chips and coffee.
Most of my clothes that I am going to bring are hanging up in the closet. I am thankful that it’s not going to be too hot while I’m away. The weather is something we have no control over when we go away and I can almost guarantee that one day it will rain (since we have gotten a lot lately).
Well I’d better go put some laundry in.
Yesterday I went out for coffee with a long time friend. We had originally planned to go to the cemetery as it’s 10 years since my Dad died but I thought it was going to rain. When I got in the car she asked if I would like to go and I said yes. As we were driving down the laneway into the cemetery she told me she thought she went a little far. It’s ok we’ll find it. I remember when I first went with Mom and all I could feel was how unfair it was. When Dad died it was so close after Janet died that I know I hadn’t properly grieved for either one. When I was standing over the grave yesterday I felt a sense of calm. When I went to bed last night and my mind was going over the events of the day I thought about how I am the only one that goes to the cemetery. I am the one who is keeping their memory alive. How many people think it’s strange that I “still” talk about them. They live on in me. I told my friend that there are always little things that are reminders of them.
My friend is currently dealing with the struggles of an aging parent. Thinking about all my friends that have a support system and I didn’t. I have discovered that it takes time to have some distance/perspective on the situation. I never thought about how strong I really was it was something I had to do.
Have you ever had that moment where you know something in your head but when you actually say it out loud it suddenly becomes crystal clear? I came to the realization that I don’t want to be friends with someone that doesn’t value me. A true friend should never be too busy to listen. I have found that I have grown apart from a lot of people in my life. While it hurts at the time I believe that it’s the quality of friends that I have in my circle not quantity that truly matters.