I have found in my life that this adage is true. Like most people my first friends were kids in the neighbourhood and then kids in public school. I was friends with a girl at church since the age of 4 or 5. I write was because we just lost contact after she moved away since she wasn’t good at returning phone calls or emails. I’m still friends with many people from public school but very few from high school. This is where the adage comes true because we just didn’t seem to fit in. In college I wasn’t in to the bar scene but did have a table of woman that I ate lunch with. I kept in contact with one woman through letters but even that has changed in the last few years since she became a Mom. She now hangs out with the Mommy groups. I remember going to a bridal shower for my cousin whose parents lived in an affluent area in Oakville ON. The bridal shower gifts were more than we would spend on a wedding gift. We were driven by a couple of the neighbours who were talking about storing their minks and how it’s hard to find good help. Mom leaned over and whispered “this is how the other half lives”. We lived in a middle class neighbourhood. Most people even tend to stay in the same neighbourhood all their lives.
The adage is true because there has to be some commonality. We met through church since we helped with Sunday School with her. One would think that once she left church it would have been harder to maintain that friendship but we did. I have mentioned many times how my coffee buddy is one of the few people where the dynamic didn’t change after Janet died. There were people I met through grief groups where eventually the friendship dissolved. I came to learn that it was because we only had that one thing in common. Eventually that wasn’t enough.
I have a friend from public school who is very different from me. Our political viewpoints are different, she is artistic. Even physically we are different as she is petite and blond(ish) and I’m tall and brunette (with help). We reconnected through lengthy emails. There was a trust there from the start and with friendship that is a big thing. I know the commonality with all of my friends is love.