Twin time

Yesterday was my zoom regional meeting. I clicked on the link and could see the leader and other people in the room but I couldn’t see myself. So she guided me through the process and there I was. The only problem is using an Ipad the angle isn’t quite right because I could only see from my shoulders up. It also showed up as ipad and I’m not sure where I was supposed to enter my name in. Oops
While we were waiting for people to join we talked about this year’s conference which would be the middle of July in Denver. There hasn’t been a definite decision but it looks like it will be cancelled this year. I went in 2016 because it was in Detroit but it had changed a lot in the 5 years since the last conference I had attended. I feel sorry for the many people that attend every year but I talked to a fellow twinless twin yesterday and she had decided on her own she wasn’t going.
We went around the room (screen?) and introduced ourselves and told how our twin died. Before we started I quickly ran to get my favourite picture of me and Janet which is on my dresser. When I finished the leader asked about who Janet was so I told about her boisterous laugh. Us going to the hardware store with Mom and laughing about the bag of cow manure called MOO POO. I had forgotten what it was like to share our story with other twins.
I have been to one regional meeting in Ontario. There was something so much more informal about just sitting in our office, bedrooms and chatting. There was a guy from the Yukon, a woman from Nanaimo BC and another woman from Nova Scotia. Since the leader is based in Ontario these people would otherwise never be able to attend a meeting. I teased the one woman that her coffee mug was HUGE and she held it up really close to the camera. I couldn’t even have my afternoon coffee because I only had enough to last until Monday. There is a chat area on the side so you can post a comment to something someone else said. We were talking about how far apart we were and I said Janet was born first but she used to joke I pushed her out. Someone asked if anyone was born premature but I didn’t get a chance to answer to that. We were born a month early. We weighed less than 4lbs but were healthy just small.
We talked about celebrating a birthday. I don’t call it celebrating I use the word honour. I do something to honour the day we were born because it will never be a celebration without my twin. There were people on yesterday who don’t celebrate at all and that’s ok too.
The biggest thing is that other people don’t get that losing a twin is unlike any other loss that you will ever have. She wasn’t just my sister she was my other half, my best friend. I always thought she would be there and then she wasn’t. She was the person who kept me company on walks. My coffee buddy. My fashion consultant. I recently wrote a post titled “resilient” but it took me years to get to that point. I know that Janet still guides me. That she is always near.

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