Last Wednesday I went out for coffee with a friend of mine. She drove to my apartment to pick me up and I thought we were meeting there. Because she had just talked to me on the phone to tell me she was just leaving she thought I had fallen or something so my super ended up having to enter my apartment to check. I can just picture Janet laughing at us.
Today I got my birthday card from my friend in Australia.
In the card there is a small gift that is specific to Janet…hint the mouse in the corner. She told me that the store was having trouble with their debit machine and she wandered around and found this. When she picked it up the debit machine worked. That was what happened when I went to a store at Christmas. I was wandering around the store and found a mouse ornament. I had stuffed a $20 in my coat pocket so I had just enough to pay for it.
I have been thinking a lot about how far I have come in 15 years. How writing Happy Birthday J and J on the card for my flowers is such a big deal. That’s it’s ok to be happy. Every year on our birthday Janet is remembered when someone writes on my wall on Facebook or sends me an email. That love lives on in me and all the people that loved her.
Yesterday I went out for coffee with a friend who I haven’t seen in person for almost a year. With the ever changing covid restrictions and remote learning curriculum we weren’t able to make it work. Tuesday afternoon I stood in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear since I have been in jeans and t-shirts for the last year. Since it was a belated birthday celebration I wanted to dress up a little but not look over dressed since we were just going to a coffee shop. Although I would like to blame it on covid and not being anywhere in over a year I’ve never really been good at “business casual”. I ended up putting on a flowered shirt and layered my 2 birthday necklaces. My friend wore also had a cap sleeved slightly ruffled edge shirt on so we were on similar wave lengths.
We did have a couple of funny moments. I thought we were meeting at the cafe and she came to pick me up. After phoning her cell I finally got a hold of her. Then when we got to the coffee shop their square machine wasn’t working. They recently changed their mobile app so they are still working out the kinks. 3pm is the perfect time to go because there wasn’t anyone else in the place. I have mentioned before that it’s been years since I have had a neighbourhood coffee shop to go to. I love sitting at a patio table and people watching. The guy walking his dog (a pug). The police officers riding their bikes (they often stop there for coffee). The runners. I look forward to when I can sit inside and write my blog post while enjoying my morning coffee.
I feel like we are getting closer to going back to life as we knew it before. It’s so nice to be able to sit and catch up face to face.
Tomorrow is our birthday. Last year I didn’t do anything for the day because everything was closed due to covid. It was very isolating and lonely. This year I decided that whatever happened I would try to make that best out of covid rules that change on a dime. I purchased a necklace online with the initial J. It’s also adjustable so I don’t have to fiddle with a clasp trying to get it on. I reminds me of the bracelet I got for Janet for our 30th birthday. We both got each other jewelry because we felt like turning 30 was a big deal. At the same time both of our initials are J so it’s like continuing our nickname of being “J and J”.
This morning I ordered flowers from a place I usually go to. It’s tradition to get yellow gerbera daisies for myself and red for Janet because those are our favourite colours. Usually I go to the grocery store. When the woman asked what I wanted on the card I paused for a bit and decided on “Happy Birthday J and J”. When my coffee buddy emails for my birthday she always includes Janet in what she writes.
I struggle with the word celebrate because it’s a day of mixed emotions. I remember all the happy times with Janet celebrating our birthday. I feel the love of all my friends who wish me/us a Happy Birthday. BUT it will always be sad because I miss her. This is my 15th birthday without her and it seems unreal that it has been that long. In a few years I will be having another milestone birthday without my twin.
On Wednesday I am going out for coffee and a treat with my coffee buddy. It’s been a while since I’ve seen her in person. I’m going to put on a new skirt and wear my necklace. Maybe even get my birthday picture (with my quarantine hair).
This seems like such a trivial peeve but we all have our “thing”. I don’t like change. Yesterday I was running low on vegetables so decided to walk to the cafe down the street and get a salad for dinner. I was going to have chicken breast and the sweet soy salad and either rice or potato. I always order ahead so I don’t have to wait in line (or shortens my time). Can I also add they should have a separate pick up area for people that order ahead! When I was scrolling through the menu I couldn’t find the salad so I ended up picking another one. When I got back home I sent a DM on Instagram asking if the salad was taken off the menu. I got a response right away from owner that it wasn’t a good seller. WHAT?? It’s so light and refreshing. Savoy cabbage, mandarin oranges, edamame and a nice sweet salad dressing. I could make it myself but cooking for one I would have ingredients left over. Many of their salads have kale. I know it’s the “IN” food but I don’t like it. I detest the texture and it’s strong. The salad that I chose was “ok” but I wouldn’t order it again.
I actually have two peeves today. I wrote recently that all my Dr appointments have been virtual for the past year and a half due to covid. I am using a Freestyle Libre for my diabetes Dr to be able to check my numbers. It’s convenient except when they don’t work! I put on a new one on Friday (after having to phone pharmacy to inquire whether it was in or not…another peeve) and I got an error reading. I then have to phone Abbott customer service to send me out a replacement. I also have to mail the “dud” back and our mail system is very slow due to covid protocols and sheer volume of packages right now. Oh yes and when I email the person at the diabetes clinic she is out of office.
My other peeve is having to buy summer clothes online due to the fact we are STILL in lockdown. There are items that are easy to buy online but capris are not one of them because it would be better to be able to go into the store to try things on. I just decided to go up a size and if it’s a little big I can always wear a belt. The trouble with pants or capris is some are slimmer fit than others. Not to mention it’s not always easy to gauge colour online.
Fingers crossed that things will open up on the day that our Premier said it would.
This morning I had a phone appointment with a dietician from the diabetes clinic. I usually have in person visits every 3-6 months depending on how things are going. If I have any questions or concerns in the meantime I can always email. Because of covid there are days when I will email and she is out of the office. Last fall they recommended I get a Freestyle Libre so that my numbers would be sent to them electronically. In March I upgraded my cellphone so I would no longer have to plug in my sensor to my PC to upload the numbers.
At the end of the conversation she asked if I had any questions so I asked about in person appointments. I already received a letter with an appointment date in November for a phone consult. Since I will have had my second covid shot by then and most things would be open by then I thought it strange that I wouldn’t be able to see the Dr in person. She told me that they are going to do phone visits at least until the end of the year and it’s possible that it might be indefinitely.
There are pros and cons to the idea. Since it’s early I can sit in my pjs. I don’t have to take transportation to the clinic and wait in the waiting room and wait again in the office. I don’t get asked the 20 questions by the assistant…although this depends on whether I get a new person over the phone. It’s less formal. I feel a lot more at ease in my own home. CONS I have to make sure I take my weight and BP myself. They aren’t doing a physical exam. Someone checks my feet. Not knowing whether you are being fully heard if they can’t see your face. Having to write down all my questions beforehand.
I don’t know whether this will be our new normal. It seems strange to say I actually miss going to the Dr. We already live in a world where we can order groceries online, do our banking online. Less physical interaction. After a year of elbow bumps instead of hugs we need MORE interaction not less.