Grocery shopping

For the month of may in Canada there is a movement to boycott a chain of grocery stores all owned by the same company. I won’t name it but if you live in Canada it’s all over the news. While I agree with the premise it’s just not feasible for me to participate since the grocery delivery company uses RCSS to shop. The only way shoppers can boycott is if you drive and that just isn’t an option for everyone. Maybe you live in a small town and you don’t have a lot of options. I used to go to a Farmers Market downtown but it’s more expensive. It’s worth it because there is nothing like getting fresh produce in the summer.

I have been using ubereats to get groceries delivered from Metro. While the cost of items is more expensive I pay less for delivery fee so it works out. My parents shopped exclusively at Metro but we always went to the reduced bread area and they often had vegetables on a reduced rack…bananas for banana bread. We often found meat 30% off. I don’t think they have any of these cost savings anymore. Eating healthy is not cheap.

This morning I got my bi-weekly food order from my local bakery. I’m having Greek pasta salad for supper with pork chops. When I got in the elevator I noticed a sign that our building is collecting for our local food bank. Even though groceries are expensive people in the building are still giving. I’m going to have to keep an eye on the flyers to see what I can give. Times are tough and I recognize that I am blessed to have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and money to pay for groceries (and someone to deliver it).

Sharing

Last week I had an emotional few days missing Janet. Since Mom died there have been many times when I’ve had to do things on my own because nobody else was available. My bud was always there. She was someone I could rely on and it’s tough realizing I no longer have that.

I emailed the Regional Coordinator for Twinless Twins in Canada. When I told her that I am turning 50 soon and have mixed emotions she wrote back with “how exciting”. I was flabbergasted and hurt that my voice wasn’t heard. It also means that I hold stuff in and am not as willing to share because I don’t know how it’s going to be received. I also tend to be a lot more reclusive…both of which aren’t healthy. I ended up messaging a friend from bible study (that’s where I met her) who truly understands what it feels like day to day missing Janet. She and her sister along with a few other woman sang at Janet’s funeral and she could barely make it through.

Support is easy in the good times. Grief is hard. There are reminders everywhere. I saw a shirt that embodied Janet’s sense of style. She wore much more tailored clothing. Whenever I wear a necklace for our birthday I always rub it because it’s close to my heart.

LOVE

About half an hour ago I got this package delivered. One day recently I was looking on the Kitras Glass website and found a link to birthday items. Since I’m turning 50 I wanted to buy something to commemorate the day. A bonus was I got free shipping because it’s close to Mother’s Day.

My grandmother bought us a gold ring with a pearl in it for our birthday one year. I don’t remember how old we were but that is the only item that had our birthday stone in it. When Janet and I turned 30 we both bought each other jewelry. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry…only for special occasions. There is something special about the word for June being LOVE. It’s remembering their love for me and my love for them. Loving myself enough to buy the fancy dress and the special necklace.

For a long time I was leaning towards not having a party for my 50th. There was a part of me that thought it would be too much pressure. While turning 50 is a big deal the milestone birthdays without Janet are hard. I much prefer just going for lunch with a good friend. I titled this love because I decided that the day is about sharing that love with the people that not only loved me but loved Janet too. I will eventually tell my friends that their gift to me is to share a memory of me and Janet. I’m also going to use an idea that a twin shared in the newsletter where you leave a seat vacant for our twin.

Share Your World April 15th 2024 TOYS

https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/2024/04/15/share-your-world-15th-april-2024

1. Regardless of whether you had them or not, can you remember three popular toys from when you were a child?

I grew up in the 80s so the most popular toy was Cabbage Patch kids. It seemed liked every girl in our class at the time had one. I remember my grandparents were in Florida and they tried to get one but ended up getting the knock off. We weren’t the kids who cared about having the “in” toy but this was one that we did. Care Bears. I think we were too old to have them when they came out. Walkman.

2. Did you ever want something specific as a child, but never had it?

I would have liked a walkman. We had a tape player that had 2 slots and a handle. I’m pretty sure we bought it ourselves. Growing up we always seemed to be behind when all of the new things came out. We didn’t have a CD player until we were in our 20s and it was a Christmas gift…to share. The Barbie camper. Our childhood friend had all of the accessories.

3. Do you still have any toys or games from your childhood?

I still have Janet’s Ernie doll that she got the Christmas she was 5. Our grandmother mended him because his arm fell off. He was well loved. When she died I was going to get rid of it but my Dad told me to keep it.

4.  I think I’ve asked this before, but what was your favourite toy as a child?

Can I have 2? I had a stuff teddy bear. It was a Panda. I think I was 6 when I got him and he was well loved. I named him BIG BITE. I don’t know why I named him that. I remember going to the toy store with Mom and I saved up my money to buy something. I bought a pink Barbie corvette. My grandparents had a long hallway in their apartment with carpet that wasn’t that plush so it was perfect to play on.

WORTH IT

Yesterday I purchased a new dress for my 50th birthday in a little less than 3 months. I posted a photo on Facebook but only made it visible to a specific friend. I wrote that I wasn’t sure about spending the money on a dress that I may only wear once (it’s fancy). Last year I wore a dress to the Inn to get my nails done and the spa tech wondered why I had a dress on. Even the year before when I wore a skirt guests commented. Mostly because it was yellow which is bright. My friend is the type of person who will talk me into it when I question myself. She jokingly said I would wear it everyday.

I am choosing to celebrate my birthday this year. I’m going to do something similar to the celebration of life even that I did on the 10 year anniversary of Janet’s death. We had finger foods and had chairs set up around the room. I think it would be easier for people so they can come and go as they please. Plus it’s more informal. I can talk to people easier than if it was a dinner. I decided to have a party because 50 is a big deal and my friends have been with me on this journey.

I also purchased this t-shirt (in raspberry). I told my friend that turning 50 deserves it’s own t-shirt. It will be funny wearing it to a coffee shop but I think it’s a good talking point.

As I’ve gotten older I will buy the fancy dress or the cute t-shirt. I’m doing it for my benefit and I’m trying not to be self conscious being the only person dressed up when I go out. I know that I look fabulous and I AM WORTH IT

8 YEARS

This morning when I was checking my email and Facebook a memory came up of my first photos taken when I moved into my apartment. When I got in the car to go for coffee with my friend we were both shocked that it has been that long. I did tell her that covid kind of skewed my perception of time.

My friend and I went to a local coffee shop that I knew was going to be open…some are closed for the holiday. I was shocked how busy it was and for a moment I thought we would have to sit outside. They did have stools at the window but I don’t feel comfortable on those. Thankfully, someone left just as our orders were ready. Because it was so busy it was quite loud so having a conversation was harder. We were also sitting right beside the cream and sugar station. My friend and I always get talking about things going on in our city and she has to show me pictures of her friend’s toddler. We were also laughing at the “fancy” drink orders. She offered to take me grocery shopping but I didn’t write out a list and walking aimlessly not having any idea means I’ll pick out random stuff but won’t have “meals”. We ended up at Shoppers Drug Mart so I could pick up a prescription and a print out of my receipts for income tax. Unfortunately, the woman did not know what I wanted so it took 3 attempts to get it sorted. I remember going to our neighbourhood pharmacy to get one for Mom a couple of times and they knew exactly what to do.

Of course living in an apartment also means maintenance. Wednesday they are cleaning the hall floors and I overheard the super bickering with her husband that the furnace filters will have to be changed soon. That is one of those chores that I do not miss! Last year they changed the thermostats to digital and it’s so much easier. It’s the little things!!

4 YEARS

Sunday afternoon I often turn on Cross Country Checkup on CBC to have in the background while I am preparing supper. Today’s question was in relation to the 4 year anniversary of covid. What do you remember about that week? What changed for you forever?

I sat there thinking how 4 years seems like a long time and yet in some respects there are things that are still in place. When I went to the diabetes clinic we had to wear a mask. When I went to the kidney clinic the Drs and assistants all had masks on but it wasn’t required of patients. The Drs are still doing a hybrid model of in person and phone appointments.

I remember that I was going to have a friend over for coffee. Up until the last minute we were still going to get together. I remember watching University students playing football in the street. I had a couple of memories come up on Facebook regarding the chaos that was grocery shopping at that time and people hoarding toilet paper. I think the biggest thing for me was how isolating it was. The longer it lasted the more isolating it was.

The second question is tough because there were things that didn’t change. I have always valued friendships and hugs. I still got groceries delivered weekly. For me the big things changed. Realizing that life is too short to have people in my life who don’t value me. Guilt over treating myself. Supporting local. During covid local businesses struggled A LOT. Christmas 2022 I purchased a Christmas ornament that had special meaning to me. When I go out with friends I take a photo. I realize more than ever that time is precious and those memories are too.

A better day

This week did not start off well. I should start with the fact that I got a letter for jury duty the week before and it was weighing on my mind. This is actually my third time being called. My second time was in 2012 and I got excused because my Mom was having some tests done and I had to go with her. I lucked out because it would have been the week that they were picking jurors for the Tori Stafford trial. A heartbreaking story! I had an appointment with my endocrinologist at 10:30 and I didn’t get out of the building until 12:20. Thankfully, I have learned to take an apple and a bottle of water with me to appointments. Since my phone is now my CGM for my Freestyle Libre it drains the battery really quickly. I have to start getting in the habit of charging it every night. My numbers are not where they should be and I told the assistant that it’s a bit of diabetic fatigue. I ended up at my favourite cafe for lunch. It’s a play on words because it’s a literal RESET for my day.

On Tuesday a bulb burnt out in my ensuite bathroom. When my super dropped off a package I asked her for a replacement. I could have got the super to do it but I thought I could change my own light bulb. They are 2 prong and because of where it’s situated on the wall I couldn’t quite see where to put it in. It doesn’t work like a screw in one. I did what everyone does and looked on YouTube. You push it in and then turn it. I DID IT.

This morning I got a phone call that the Dr note is ready to be picked up. I am so relieved. Unfortunately, the office is closed on Fridays so my friend and I changed our coffee date and she is going to help me on Monday. Lunch out with a friend and a hug. Something to look forward to.

SHOPPING

Today I ended up getting 3 deliveries for items that I had purchased. I found a white knit bathing suit cover up for a collab with Joe Fresh. While it’s technically a cover up I’m going to wear it as a top with patterned pants that I already own in my closet. It would look good with a skirt too. I’m trying to be more thoughtful with clothing that I buy…what can I pair it with.

Fridays are my delivery day from the local bakery that I support. I switched to pick up so that my grocery person could run an errand for me. Since I regularly use shipping to home the owner emailed to confirm my order. Originally, they had sold out of the pulled pork mac and cheese but they added some more to the online store on Wednesday. Thankfully, I was able to grab one and put a note to add it. They had pre-made salads and I bought 2. I don’t mind having the same thing 2 nights in a row and as a single person I usually have a pretty basic salad for myself. When I finish my blog post I will have half an apple and half of an oatmeal peanut butter cookie for my afternoon snack. I end up putting them in the freezer because 6 is too many for one person. I also don’t bake anymore and if I’m going to have a cookie they are better if they taste homemade.

5 mins after my grocery lady left the delivery person from a local business buzzed with my order. They had phoned half an hour before that they were getting my delivery ready and would I be home. In the course of conversation she told me that they adjusted the price so I would be getting a gift card for the difference. You wouldn’t get that from Walmart! I am having friends over for coffee and for a while I have been meaning to get a cream and sugar bowl set I just never got around to it. I looked on a couple of sites and they didn’t have any. Went to Walmart online and they weren’t what I was looking for. All of a sudden a light bulb went off…Jill’s Table. It’s has cooking supplies, spices, dishes etc. I found exactly what I was looking for. Was it a little more expensive…yes but you can’t beat next day delivery (and only $10).

I recognize that I have the ability to afford to shop local but the customer service is totally worth it.

SMART TECHNOLOGY

Just before Christmas I went to print something and I kept getting a printing error. I tried everything I could think of and nothing worked so I ended up buying a new one. I know that it was more than 10 years old so I got my moneys worth. When I went online there were very few that were just basic printers. This one also scans which is a bonus since I can scan in my requisitions for bloodwork. I am terrible at remembering where I put them and end up getting another one sent to me. I finally set it up today and it was very easy. Apparently, you can sync it with your cellphone and you can get automatic refills when your ink runs out. I skipped those steps because I would never need to print something from my phone and I buy my ink from Staples. On Wednesday I passed my super on the way to the mail room and mentioned that it’s that time of year when we start to get stuff for income tax. I said that most of mine is online and like many people their age they are old school and do all their banking in person.

I’m one of those people who pay for coffee with my debit card. At the local coffee shops you can get your receipt sent to your email address. Whenever I pay for something with debit and they ask if I want a receipt I decline because it will get stuffed in the bottom of my purse.

The only negative to technology is having to remember passwords. The human isn’t so smart because who can remember all of them?