It’s a little less than 5 weeks until my birthday. I recently messaged a fellow twinless twin who is going through a hard time since she is turning 65 soon. She is also dealing with the double whammy of changes when you turning 65. She thanked me for sharing with her since it made her realize she wasn’t alone. I got an email for a zoom meeting on June 8 for people who have lost their twin suddenly. I’m debating because I don’t know whether it might be too close to the date but it’s an opportunity to share with other twins. It will be my last opportunity because I’ve decided not to renew my membership.
This morning I came across a meme that has the line BUY THE OUTFIT, THE OCCASION WILL FIND YOU crossed out with WEAR THE OUTFIT, YOU ARE THE OCCASION underneath it. This is something a friend of mine has been telling me. I bought a fancy dress to wear for my birthday lunch knowing that I will probably only wear it once. While I wear t shirts and pants or capris I have decided that I’m going to wear a skirt more often. Why am I saving it for a special occasion. Part of me knows that as I get closer to 50 I’m tired of worrying about what others think.
I have been looking for a birthday mouse to put on my Christmas tree. I know it might sound strange but I wanted to find something to commemorate it on the tree. I finally found it. Since Janet died it has been a tradition to buy yellow and red gerbera daisies in honour of our favourite colours. The dress reminds me of the sequined dress I wore last Christmas. Of course I sent it to my friend to get her opinion. Do I need it…no. Does it make me happy…yes. A TT told me she was proud of me for having a party. When I buy something that brings me joy I think Janet would be proud of me too.
thelonerose 
Love the mouse! Why are you quitting Twinless Twins?
It’s complicated. The dynamic has changed since I first joined. It has become very “cliquey”
I’m sorry to hear that. It was good for you, a community of people who were able to understand what you were experiencing without needing an explanation. Your decision to leave seems, to me, at least, to be a sign of your growth as a twinless twin. You now have a group of friends who know you as a person who has lost her twin sister in a tragic way, who still misses her sister deeply, but who has developed her own personhood, quite separate from her identity as a twinless twin.
I’m not sure I have really said what I mean very clearly. The basic message is that you have found Jennifer, who, while she will also be Janet’s twin sister, is no longer defined by that fact. It’s a huge step, and I am really happy for you. Proud of you too!,❤️🤗
also = always …. always be Janet’s twin
Great mouse.