Still learning

This was a tough one because a few thoughts came to mind.
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. It’s definetely a phrase I lived by after my twin died and when my Dad had cancer. There were days when I thought I didn’t have the strength to carry on but somehow I did.
At my Dad’s memorial service a friend of mine asked how I was. I told him “it blows”. A mutual friend of both of ours bought me a card later that said “Sometimes life is like the wind…it blows“. Losing a family member hurts, trying to figure out a new normal is hard work so for a while life really sucks. And it’s alright to say that it does.
Weak is the new strong. This was told to me at a bible study I went to by the youth leader. He saw it on a bumber sticker. I added the phrase “If that’s the case I must be Superwoman!!”

After my Dad died I was reading the book “Eat,Pray,Love”. There is a part in the book where she and her friends are sitting at a cafe in Italy discussing what the word of a city is and what word would they use to describe themselves. When she was in India she found the word in a book in the library “ANTEVASIN”. I think it meant in-between. At one time my word would have been LOST but when I read that I thought “yes, that’s a good way to describe it”.

I have put as my title “Still learning”. A friend and I went to a grief workshop at my church and this one woman who was probably my Mom’s age said that we were so smart. She kind of thought we had it all figured out. On the way to the bus stop we laughed because we don’t. I’ve learned a lot on the way about myself, about grief, about loss but in no way do I think I have it all figured out. I’m still learning.

5 thoughts on “Still learning

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  2. Dear Jennifer I don’t think one person on this earth has sorted out grief and loss. It’s always there and I am finding it just exhausting. I just don’t know what to do next. I can’t believe my life will always be like this ……it’s not what I expected

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